Connection Will Make You the Person You Want to Be

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What if there was one answer to the meaning of life? What if it was connection?

In her book Daring Greatly, Brené Brown said:

“Connection is why we’re here: it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.”

Is that true though? Is the main purpose of our lives is to connect with others?

The Rainbow Connection

The definition of connection is “a relationship in which a person or thing is linked or associated with something else.” That’s a bit dry though, isn’t it?

Instead, it might help to think about examples of connection in everyday life:

  • The connection you share with your best friend.
  • The special connection you have with a family member.
  • The instant connection you made with your roommate back in university.
  • The random connection you made with a complete stranger as you shared a laugh on the grocery store line this morning.

Connection comes in many shapes and sizes. It can last a lifetime, or it can be over in minutes, but you always know when it is real.

What’s So Amazing about Connection?

What makes connection so important then? How does connection add a deeper meaning to our lives?

The easiest way to answer that question is to to look at the opposite of connection; what happens when we don’t feel connected? As Brené points out:

“The power that connection holds in our lives was confirmed when the main concern about connection emerged as the fear of disconnection; the fear that something we have done or failed to do, something about who we are or where we come from, has made us unlovable and unworthy of connection.”

In other words, if you want to understand the importance of connection, then just imagine what it feels like to have no connections. If you have ever felt unworthy of connection then you will know how scary it can feel.

This fear of disconnection is also one of the reasons why social media, and Facebook in particular, is so popular these days. Not only do we all share this innate need for connection, but we also use these online platforms that ask us to prove that we are worthy of connection on a daily basis. Facebook is a constant stream of other people’s lives and it provokes a natural reaction which makes us want to portray our life as one that is also worthy of being “liked”.

When that feeling rears its head, we should remember that no one has anything to prove. When you are looking at your Facebook feed, remember that you are already worthy and that the connections you make in real life have nothing to do with Facebook “Likes” or the total number of your Facebook Friends. True connection is real and tangible and it is not stored on a computer.

It’s Something that I’m Supposed to Be

Each day can be thought of as a series of tests that are designed to either enhance your connections or hinder them.

If you call a friend to see how they are feeling after some recent bad news, then you are building a connection.

If you let another day pass without speaking to a family member after a long forgotten argument, then you have a broken connection.

So what should we do when we have a bad connection?

The first thing to do is to remember that we are all in the same boat. We are all in this life together, just trying to do the best we can. Be truthful about your intentions and then go back to the start; to where your connection first began.

If you are trying to mend the connection of a friendship, go back in time and think about why you became friends in the first place. Remember laughing together.

If you are trying to connect with a long lost family member, then go back and recall how you both came from a similar upbringing. Remember that you share a unique connection that no one else in this world would understand.

Connections can be broken in an instant and lucky for us they can also be repaired.

Someday We’ll Find IT

Is connection the one true meaning of life?

To be honest, that’s a question each person has to answer for themselves. It is not a universal truth. A monk living in seclusion would have a different opinion on the meaning of life.

What we can say is that connection is one of the most important aspects of life. It does have the power to fill your life with purpose.

We should also remember that it also has the power to fill someone else’s life with meaning and hope. Spend some time thinking about those who have no connections. Reach out to them and let them know that they are not alone. Show them with your actions that they are worthy of connection.

What to do Next?

  • Think about a broken connection in your life. What is one thing you can do today to help repair that connection?
  • Do you know someone who might be feeling alone? Reach out and connect with them today.
  • Learn how you can help lonely or socially isolated elderly people in your community.
  • Share your ideas and thoughts about connection in the comment section at the bottom of this blog post!

3 Comments

  1. Thought provoking article. In my own life, I’ve used the “connection” as the stepping stone to the vocation I have dedicated my career to. Once I realized that we are all of the same, quite literally the remnants of exploding stars, and on this isolated rock together, it was my goal to monetize my interests and talents to do good work. It is a hard road pot marked with failure, obstacles, and blinding interference. What brought me closer to my goal was the fuel to perseverance. This fuel was the ache I had in my heart and body everyday that I woke up and knew that I wasn’t doing good work. That if we are to succeed as a family, town, nation, planet, I wanted to make sure that I was a contributor. Keep a sense of humor though, because if our goals and the goals for our planet are not aligned, it really does become one life-long joke.

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